Little words

Dear Willow,

I'm having a bad day today.  I had bad dreams about people in our life being mean to me, so I woke up in a bad mood.  I've been swamped with too many things lately and I'm feeling like I can't stay on top of any of the grown up things I need to do.  Today I was making lunch for you and Guin, you two were fighting and screaming at each other... then you stopped in the kitchen and told me "you're a bad mom."

I know you're two years old.  I know what you meant when you said it did not hold the meaning it did for me.  But it was the final push for me today, and I cried.  You asked me why I was laughing, and when I explained to you that I was crying because you hurt my feelings the look in your eyes was one I've rarely seen.  You weren't in trouble, it wasn't the look you get when you get put in time out, it was an honest look of being sorry.  I think you realized then that I am just as fragile as you sometimes.  That you are capable of hurting my feelings and that I'm not unbreakable. 

As I sat on the floor and cried, you came and pinched my face in your tiny little hands and told me "I like you now mom."  and you said sorry.  An hour later you climbed up in my lap, hugged me with all you're worth and said "you're a good mommy." 
It's moments like this that I know I have a lot to learn from you.  Today I learned how much I value your opinion.  I learned that it's ok for me not to always be strong.  I learned that by showing you and telling you how you made me feel gives you permission to be honest with your emotions and yourself too.  And I learned that a big squishy Willow hug goes a long, long way.  I love you.

Mom