Purple Dress

Guin,

You are in such a girly-girl phase right now.  It's such a joy to see you look at yourself in the mirror and smile -you know you are beautiful, and I hope you always do.  Early last November, we were strolling through Target and all of the season's holiday dresses were displayed front and center.  Anything frilly and girly is right up your alley, so I wasn't surprised when you spotted the iridescent purple formal dress.  It stood out from all of the other bland dresses, kind of like you do.  It was $30, and we didn't have the money for it that day.  

So for the next two weeks, you talked about nothing but that purple dress.  You drew pictures of yourself wearing it.  You told me about all of the great adventures you'd have in it.  You showed me how you would twirl and dance.   

So you convinced me.

In an effort to give you a lesson in ownership and responsibility, I told you that if I bought it for you that it would have to be reserved for special occasions, but if you used your own money you could wear it whenever you wanted.  You didn't hesitate - you were going to buy it with your own money.  And you were going to sleep in the thing.

We got to Target, and there was one purple dress left.  It was exactly your size.  We went to the fitting room to try it on, and your face lit up the world when you looked in the mirror.  You did the twirl test - it was perfect.

It's now been almost three months since you bought your dress, and just like I expected, you have worn it everywhere.  You love the attention you get, people always telling you how beautiful you are.  When people ask you if you have a special occasion, you smile and say "no", and the people around you take a moment to remember that formal iridescent purple dresses don't need special occasions.  Every day is a special occasion when you are five.  

 

And while I hoped to teach you a lesson with your purple dress, yet again you are teaching me in unexpected ways.  So much of me wants to get a pretty formal dress of my own.  Yes, I've had them before, for prom and weddings... but never one just because I thought it was pretty.  And even if I did, I wouldn't have the confidence to wear it just because.  I'd be too afraid of what other people would think or say... and I look at you so happily eating your snacks and painting and exploring the playground in your formal purple dress, and I ask myself why in the world not?  What is stopping me from having the confidence, for just one day, to put on a dress that makes me feel beautiful, and wearing it just because I feel like it?  What stops everyone when they become adults from being so vibrantly happy and care free? 

So now, my little teacher, I am on a mission.  I'm going to find myself the perfect, vibrant dress.  Probably red, to echo what some other amazing women have done with the same idea.  But when I find it, I'm going to need you to hold my hand, and remind me that I am strong enough, brave enough, and free enough to wear it out.  You are wiser than you know, and I hope this is a confidence that you always keep.

Love,

Mom